I will not waste chalk
I will not waste chalk
I will not waste chalk
I will not waste chalk

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G02
	"Bart the Genius"
%
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not skateboard in the halls

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G03
	"Homer's Odyssey"
%
I will not burp in class
I will not burp in class
I will not burp in class
I will not burp in class

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G04
	"There's No Disgrace Like Home"
%
I will not instigate revolution
I will not instigate revolution
I will not instigate revolution
I will not instigate revolution

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G06
	"Moaning Lisa"
%
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not draw naked ladies in class

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 7G09
	"The Call of the Simpsons"
%
I did not see Elvis
I did not see Elvis
I did not see Elvis
I did not see Elvis

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G07
	"The Telltale Head"
%
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G10
	"Homer's Night Out"
%
Garlic gum is not funny
Garlic gum is not funny
Garlic gum is not funny
Garlic gum is not funny

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G13
	"The Crepes of Wrath"
%
They are laughing at me, not with me
They are laughing at me, not with me
They are laughing at me, not with me
They are laughing at me, not with me

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G12
	"Krusty Gets Busted"
%
I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom
I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom
I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom
I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7G01
	"Some Enchanted Evening"
%
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not encourage others to fly

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F03
	"Bart Gets an F"
%
I will not fake my way through life
I will not fake my way through life
I will not fake my way through life
I will not fake my way through life

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F03
	"Bart Gets an F"
%
Tar is not a plaything
Tar is not a plaything
Tar is not a plaything
Tar is not a plaything

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F02
	"Simpson and Delilah"
%
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not Xerox my butt

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F01
	"Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"
%
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F01
	"Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"
%
I will not trade pants with others
I will not trade pants with others
I will not trade pants with others
I will not trade pants with others

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F05
	"Dancin' Homer"
%
I am not a 32 year old woman
I am not a 32 year old woman
I am not a 32 year old woman
I am not a 32 year old woman

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F08
	"Dead Putting Society"
%
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not do that thing with my tongue

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F07
	"Bart vs. Thanksgiving"
%
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not drive the principal's car

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F06
	"Bart the Daredevil"
%
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F09
	"Itchy &amp; Scratchy &amp; Marge"
%
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F10
	"Bart Gets Hit by a Car"
%
I will not cut corners
"   "   "   "    "
"   "   "   "    "
"   "   "   "    "

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F11
	"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"
%
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not get very far with this attitude

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F12
	"The Way We Was"
%
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not make flatulent noises in class

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F13
	"Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"
%
I will not belch the national anthem
I will not belch the national anthem
I will not belch the national anthem
I will not belch the national anthem

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F15
	"Principal Charming"
%
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not sell land in Florida

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F16
	"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"
%
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property
I will not sell school property

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F14
	"Bart's Dog Gets an F"
%
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not grease the monkey bars

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F17
	"Old Money"
%
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F18
	"Brush with Greatness"
%
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not do anything bad ever again

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F20
	"The War of the Simpsons"
%
I will not show off
I will not show off
I will not show off
I will not show off

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F21
(This was written in Blackletter.)
	"Three Men and a Comic Book"
%
I will not sleep through my education
I will not sleep through my education
I will not sleep through my education
I will not sleep through my education

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F22
	"Blood Feud"
%
I am not a dentist
I am not a dentist
I am not a dentist
I am not a dentist

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F24
	"Stark Raving Dad"
%
Spitwads are not free speech
Spitwads are not free speech
Spitwads are not free speech
Spitwads are not free speech

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F01
	"Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington"
%
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
Nobody likes sunburn slappers

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  7F23
	"When Flanders Failed"
%
High explosives and school don't mix
High explosives and school don't mix
High explosives and school don't mix
High explosives and school don't mix

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F03
	"Bart the Murderer"
%
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will not bribe Principal Skinner

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F03
(During the episode)
	"Bart the Murderer"
%
I will not squeak chalk
I will not squeak chalk
I will not squeak chalk
I will not squeak chalk
I will not squeak chalk

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F04
(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)
	"Homer Defined"
%
I will finish what I sta

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F05
(written only once)
	"Like Father, Like Clown"
%
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F06
	"Lisa's Pony"
%
I will not fake rabies
I will not fake rabies
I will not fake rabies
I will not fake rabies

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F07
	"Saturdays of Thunder"
%
Underwear should be worn on the inside
Underwear should be worn on the inside
Underwear should be worn on the inside
Underwear should be worn on the inside

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F08
	"Flaming Moe's"
%
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
The Christmas Pageant does not stink

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F09
	"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
%
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not torment the emotionally frail

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F10
	"I Married Marge"
%
I will not carve gods
I will not carve gods
I will not carve gods
I will not carve gods

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F11
	"Radio Bart"
%
I will not spank others
I will not spank others
I will not spank others
I will not spank others

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F14
	"Homer Alone"
%
I will not aim for the head
I will not aim for the head
I will not aim for the head
I will not aim for the head

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F13
	"Homer at the Bat"
%
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not barf unless I'm sick

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F15
	"Separate Vocations"
%
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty)
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty)
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty)
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty)

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F15
(During the episode)
	"Separate Vocations"
%
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F17
	"Dog of Death"
%
I will not conduct my own fire drills
I will not conduct my own fire drills
I will not conduct my own fire drills
I will not conduct my own fire drills

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F19
	"Colonel Homer"
%
Funny noises are not funny
Funny noises are not funny
Funny noises are not funny
Funny noises are not funny

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F20
	"Black Widower"
%
I will not spin the turtle
I will not spin the turtle
I will not spin the turtle
I will not spin the turtle

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F21
	"The Otto Show"
%
I will not snap bras
I will not snap bras
I will not snap bras
I will not snap bras

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F22
	"Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
%
I will not fake seizures
I will not fake seizures
I will not fake seizures
I will not fake seizures

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F23
	"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"
%
This punishment is not boring and pointless
This punishment is not boring and pointless
This punishment is not boring and pointless
This punishment is not boring and pointless

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F24
	"Kamp Krusty"
%
My name is not "Dr. Death"
My name is not "Dr. Death"
My name is not "Dr. Death"
My name is not "Dr. Death"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  8F18
	"A Streetcar Named Marge"
%
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not defame New Orleans

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F01
	"Homer the Heretic"
%
I will not prescribe medication
I will not prescribe medication
I will not prescribe medication
I will not prescribe medication

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F02
	"Lisa the Beauty Queen"
%
I will not bury the new kid
I will not bury the new kid
I will not bury the new kid
I will not bury the new kid

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F03
	"Itchy &amp; Scratchy: The Movie"
%
I will try to raise a better child.
I will try to raise a better child.
I will try to raise a better child.
I will try to raise a better child.

Marge Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F03
	"Itchy &amp; Scratchy: The Movie"
%
I will not teach others to fly
I will not teach others to fly
I will not teach others to fly
I will not teach others to fly

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F05
	"Marge Gets a Job"
%
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not bring sheep to class

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F06
	"New Kid on the Block"
%
A burp is not an answer
A burp is not an answer
A burp is not an answer
A burp is not an answer

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F07
	"Mr. Plow"
%
Teacher is not a leper
Teacher is not a leper
Teacher is not a leper
Teacher is not a leper

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F08
	"Lisa's First Word"
%
Coffee is not for kids
Coffee is not for kids
Coffee is not for kids
Coffee is not for kids

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F09
(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.)
	"Homer's Triple Bypass"
%
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F10
	"Marge vs. the Monorail"
%
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F11
	"Selma's Choice"
%
The principal's toupée is not a frisbee
The principal's toupée is not a frisbee
The principal's toupée is not a frisbee
The principal's toupée is not a frisbee

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F12
	"Brother from the Same Planet"
%
I will not call the principal "spud head"
I will not call the principal "spud head"
I will not call the principal "spud head"
I will not call the principal "spud head"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F13
	"I Love Lisa"
%
Goldfish don't bounce
Goldfish don't bounce
Goldfish don't bounce
Goldfish don't bounce

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F14
	"Duffless"
%
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F15
	"Last Exit to Springfield"
%
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F17
	"So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"
%
I will not sell miracle cures
I will not sell miracle cures
I will not sell miracle cures
I will not sell miracle cures

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F16
	"The Front"
%
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will return the seeing-eye dog

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F18
	"Whacking Day"
%
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F20
	"Marge in Chains"
%
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will not charge admission to the bathroom

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F19
	"Krusty Gets Kancelled"
%
I will never win an Emmy
I will never win an Emmy 
I will never win an Emmy 
I will never win an Emmy 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F21
(Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date)
	"Homer's Barbershop Quartet"
%
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  9F22
	"Cape Feare"
%
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F07
	"The Last Temptation of Homer"
%
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 1F08
	"$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"
%
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F09
	"Homer the Vigilante"
%
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F11
	"Bart Gets Famous"
%
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F10
	"Homer and Apu"
%
I am not delightfully saucy
I am not delightfully saucy
I am not delightfully saucy
I am not delightfully saucy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F14
	"Homer Loves Flanders"
%
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F15
	"Bart Gets an Elephant"
%
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F16
	"Burns' Heir"
%
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F18
(100th episode)
	"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"
%
There are plenty of businesses like show business
There are plenty of businesses like show business
There are plenty of businesses like show business
There are plenty of businesses like show business

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F19
	"The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
%
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F21
	"Lady Bouvier's Lover"
%
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F20
	"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
%
Beans are neither a fruit nor musical
Beans are neither a fruit nor musical
Beans are neither a fruit nor musical
Beans are neither a fruit nor musical

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F22
	"Bart of Darkness"
%
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants
No one is interested in my underpants

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  1F17
	"Lisa's Rival"
%
I will not use abbrev.
I will not use abbrev.
I will not use abbrev.
I will not use abbrev.

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F33
	"Another Simpsons Clip Show"
%
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F01
	"Itchy &amp; Scratchy Land"
%
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not send lard through the mail

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F04
	"Bart's Girlfriend"
%
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not dissect things unless instructed

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F05
	"Lisa on Ice"
%
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F06
	"Homer Badman"
%
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F07
	"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
%
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F08
	"Fear of Flying"
%
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F09
	"Homer the Great"
%
'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice
'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice
'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice
'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F10
	"And Maggie Makes Three"
%
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F11
	"Bart's Comet"
%
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F12
	"Homie the Clown"
%
I will not hang donuts on my person
I will not hang donuts on my person
I will not hang donuts on my person
I will not hang donuts on my person

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F13
	"Bart vs. Australia"
%
I will remember to take my medication
I will remember to take my medication
I will remember to take my medication
I will remember to take my medication

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F14
	"Homer vs. Patty &amp; Selma"
%
I will not strut around like I own the place
I will not strut around like I own the place
I will not strut around like I own the place
I will not strut around like I own the place

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F15
	"Lisa's Wedding"
%
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F18
	"Two Dozen and One Greyhounds"
%
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I do not have power of attorney over first graders

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F19
	"The PTA Disbands"
%
Nerve gas is not a toy
Nerve gas is not a toy
Nerve gas is not a toy
Nerve gas is not a toy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F32
	"'Round Springfield"
%
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F21
	"The Springfield Connection"
%
The First Amendment does not cover burping
The First Amendment does not cover burping
The First Amendment does not cover burping
The First Amendment does not cover burping

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F22
	"Lemon of Troy"
%
This is not a clue... or is it?
This is not a clue... or is it?
This is not a clue... or is it?
This is not a clue... or is it?

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F16
	"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)"
%
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F20
	"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)"
%
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  2F17
	"Radioactive Man"
%
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F01
	"Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"
%
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
I am not a lean mean spitting machine

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F02
	"Bart Sells His Soul"
%
The boys' room is not a water park
The boys' room is not a water park
The boys' room is not a water park
The boys' room is not a water park

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F03
	"Lisa the Vegetarian"
%
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F05
	"King-Size Homer"
%
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F08
	"Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"
%
I will only do this once a year
I will only do this once a year
I will only do this once a year
I will only do this once a year

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F31
("The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular" is a clip show)
	"The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
%
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F07
	"Marge Be Not Proud"
%
I am not certified to remove asbestos
I am not certified to remove asbestos
I am not certified to remove asbestos
I am not certified to remove asbestos

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F10
	"Team Homer"
%
I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten
I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten
I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten
I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3F23
	"You Only Move Twice"
%
I am not my long-lost twin
I am not my long-lost twin
I am not my long-lost twin
I am not my long-lost twin

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  4F03
	"The Homer They Fall"
%
The truth is not out there
The truth is not out there
The truth is not out there
The truth is not out there

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3G01
(an X-Files parody episode)
	"The Springfield Files"
%
I am not licensed to do anything 
I am not licensed to do anything 
I am not licensed to do anything 
I am not licensed to do anything 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  4F08
(referencing a James Bond movie)
	"The Twisted World of Marge Simpson"
%
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  4F12
	"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
%
A fire drill does not demand a fire
A fire drill does not demand a fire
A fire drill does not demand a fire
A fire drill does not demand a fire

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  4F16
	"The Canine Mutiny"
%
I no longer want my MTV
I no longer want my MTV
I no longer want my MTV
I no longer want my MTV

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3G02
	"Lisa's Sax"
%
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F01
	"The Cartridge Family"
%
I did not invent Irish dancing
I did not invent Irish dancing
I did not invent Irish dancing
I did not invent Irish dancing

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F03
	"Bart Star"
%
I will not tease Fatty
I will not tease Fatty
I will not tease Fatty
I will not tease Fatty

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F05
	"Lisa the Skeptic"
%
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F06
	"Realty Bites"
%
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F07
	"Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"
%
Shooting paintballs is not an art form
Shooting paintballs is not an art form
Shooting paintballs is not an art form
Shooting paintballs is not an art form

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F23
	"The Joy of Sect"
%
Pain is not the cleanser
Pain is not the cleanser
Pain is not the cleanser
Pain is not the cleanser

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F10
	"The Last Temptation of Krust"
%
Silly string is not a nasal spray
Silly string is not a nasal spray
Silly string is not a nasal spray
Silly string is not a nasal spray

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F12
	"Dumbbell Indemnity"
%
I was told not to do this
I was told not to do this
I was told not to do this
I was told not to do this

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F13
	"This Little Wiggy"
%
My butt does not deserve a website
My butt does not deserve a website
My butt does not deserve a website
My butt does not deserve a website

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  3G04
	"Simpson Tide"
%
I will not demand what I'm worth
I will not demand what I'm worth
I will not demand what I'm worth
I will not demand what I'm worth

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 5F14
	"The Trouble With Trillions"
%
I will not mess with the opening credits
I will not mess with the opening credits
I will not mess with the opening credits
I will not mess with the opening credits

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F09
	"Trash of the Titans"
%
I am not the new Dalai Lama
I am not the new Dalai Lama
I am not the new Dalai Lama
I am not the new Dalai Lama

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F17
	"Lost Our Lisa"
%
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F18
	"Natural Born Kissers"
%
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
I will not file frivolous lawsuits

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  5F21
	"The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace"
%
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX 
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX 
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX 
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF01
(This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)
	"Treehouse of Horror IX"
%
"butt.com" is not my E-mail address
"butt.com" is not my E-mail address
"butt.com" is not my E-mail address
"butt.com" is not my E-mail address

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 5F19
	"When You Dish upon a Star"
%
No one cares what my definition of "is" is
No one cares what my definition of "is" is
No one cares what my definition of "is" is
No one cares what my definition of "is" is

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF02
	"D'oh-in in the Wind"
%
I will not scream for ice cream
I will not scream for ice cream
I will not scream for ice cream
I will not scream for ice cream

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF03
	"Lisa Gets an "A"
%
I am not a licensed hairstylist
I am not a licensed hairstylist
I am not a licensed hairstylist
I am not a licensed hairstylist

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF04
	"Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"
%
"The President did it" is not an excuse
"The President did it" is not an excuse
"The President did it" is not an excuse
"The President did it" is not an excuse

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF05
(This aired a day after Bill Clinton was impeached)
	"Mayored to the Mob"
%
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF06
	"Viva Ned Flanders"
%
Sherri does not "got back"
Sherri does not "got back"
Sherri does not "got back"
Sherri does not "got back"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF07
	"Wild Barts Can't Be Broken"
%
I will not do "the dirty bird"
I will not do "the dirty bird"
I will not do "the dirty bird"
I will not do "the dirty bird"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF08
	"Sunday, Cruddy Sunday"
%
No one cares about my sciatica
No one cares about my sciatica
No one cares about my sciatica
No one cares about my sciatica

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF09
	"Homer to the Max"
%
Hillbillies are people too
Hillbillies are people too
Hillbillies are people too
Hillbillies are people too

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF11
	"I'm with Cupid"
%
Grammar is not a time of waste
Grammar is not a time of waste
Grammar is not a time of waste
Grammar is not a time of waste

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF10
	"Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"
%
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I do not have diplomatic immunity

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF12
	"Make Room for Lisa"
%
It does not suck to be you
It does not suck to be you
It does not suck to be you
It does not suck to be you

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF13
	"Maximum Homerdrive"
%
I cannot absolve sins
I cannot absolve sins
I cannot absolve sins
I cannot absolve sins

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF14
	"Simpsons Bible Stories"
%
I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible
I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible
I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible
I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF14
(During Lisa's dream in the episode)
	"Simpsons Bible Stories"
%
A trained ape could not teach gym
A trained ape could not teach gym
A trained ape could not teach gym
A trained ape could not teach gym

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF15
	"Mom and Pop Art"
%
Loose teeth don't need my help
Loose teeth don't need my help
Loose teeth don't need my help
Loose teeth don't need my help

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF16
	"The Old Man and the "C" Student"
%
I have neither been there nor done that
I have neither been there nor done that
I have neither been there nor done that
I have neither been there nor done that

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF17
	"Monty Can't Buy Me Love"
%
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits
No one wants to hear from my armpits

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF18
	"They Saved Lisa's Brain"
%
I'm so very tired
I'm so very tired 
I'm so very tired 
I'm so very tired 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode AABF18
(At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.)
	"Thirty Minutes over Tokyo"
%
Fridays are not "pants optional"
Fridays are not "pants optional"
Fridays are not "pants optional"
Fridays are not "pants optional"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF23
	"Beyond Blunderdome"
%
Pork is not a verb
Pork is not a verb
Pork is not a verb
Pork is not a verb

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF22
	"Brother's Little Helper"
%
I am not the last Don
I am not the last Don
I am not the last Don
I am not the last Don

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF21
	"Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"
%
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  AABF19
	"E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)"
%
I won't not use no double negatives
I won't not use no double negatives
I won't not use no double negatives
I won't not use no double negatives

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF02
	"Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder"
%
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF03
	"Eight Misbehavin'"
%
I can't see dead people
I can't see dead people
I can't see dead people
I can't see dead people

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF05
	"Take My Wife, Sleaze"
%
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not sell my kidney on eBay

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF07
	"Grift of the Magi"
%
I will not create art from dung
I will not create art from dung
I will not create art from dung
I will not create art from dung

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF04
	"Little Big Mom"
%
I will stop phoning it in
I will stop phoning it in
I will stop phoning it in
I will stop phoning it in

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF06
	"Faith Off"
%
Class clown is not a paid position
Class clown is not a paid position
Class clown is not a paid position
Class clown is not a paid position

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF08
	"The Mansion Family"
%
Substitute teachers are not scabs
Substitute teachers are not scabs
Substitute teachers are not scabs
Substitute teachers are not scabs

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF09
	"Saddlesore Galactica"
%
My suspension was not mutual
My suspension was not mutual
My suspension was not mutual
My suspension was not mutual

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF10
	"Alone Again, Natura-Diddily"
%
A belch is not an oral report
A belch is not an oral report
A belch is not an oral report
A belch is not an oral report

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF11
	"Missionary: Impossible"
%
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Dodgeball stops at the gym door

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF12
	"Pygmoelian"
%
Non-flammable is not a challenge
Non-flammable is not a challenge
Non-flammable is not a challenge
Non-flammable is not a challenge

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF13
	"Bart to the Future"
%
I was not touched "there" by an angel
I was not touched "there" by an angel
I was not touched "there" by an angel
I was not touched "there" by an angel

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF14
	"Days of Wine and D'oh'ses"
%
I am not here on a fartball scholarship
I am not here on a fartball scholarship
I am not here on a fartball scholarship
I am not here on a fartball scholarship

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF16
	"Kill the Alligator and Run"
%
I will not dance on anyone's grave
I will not dance on anyone's grave
I will not dance on anyone's grave
I will not dance on anyone's grave

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF15
	"Last Tap Dance in Springfield"
%
I cannot hire a substitute student
I cannot hire a substitute student
I cannot hire a substitute student
I cannot hire a substitute student

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF18
	"It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge"
%
"I will not obey the voices in my head"
"I will not obey the voices in my head"
"I will not obey the voices in my head"
"I will not obey the voices in my head"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF19
	"Behind the Laughter"
%
I will not plant subliminal messagores 
I will not plant subliminal messagores 
I will not plant subliminal messagores 
I will not plant subliminal messagores 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF20
(Aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election)
	"A Tale of Two Springfields"
%
I will not surprise the incontinent
I will not surprise the incontinent
I will not surprise the incontinent
I will not surprise the incontinent

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF17
	"Insane Clown Poppy"
%
I am not the acting president
I am not the acting president
I am not the acting president
I am not the acting president

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF01
(Aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election)
	"Lisa the Tree Hugger"
%
I was not the sixth Beatle
I was not the sixth Beatle
I was not the sixth Beatle
I was not the sixth Beatle

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF04
	"Homer vs. Dignity"
%
I will only provide a urine sample when asked
I will only provide a urine sample when asked
I will only provide a urine sample when asked
I will only provide a urine sample when asked

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF02
	"The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"
%
The nurse is not dealing
The nurse is not dealing
The nurse is not dealing
The nurse is not dealing

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF03
	"The Great Money Caper"
%
Science class should not end in tragedy
Science class should not end in tragedy
Science class should not end in tragedy
Science class should not end in tragedy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF06
	"Skinner's Sense of Snow"
%
I ain't not a dorkus
I ain't not a dorkus
I ain't not a dorkus
I ain't not a dorkus

Skinner on chalkboard in episode  CABF06
	"Skinner's Sense of Snow"
%
Network TV is not dead
Network TV is not dead
Network TV is not dead
Network TV is not dead

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  BABF22
	"HOMR"
%
I will not "let the dogs out"
I will not "let the dogs out"
I will not "let the dogs out"
I will not "let the dogs out"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF05
	"Pokey Mom"
%
I will not hide the teacher's medication
I will not hide the teacher's medication
I will not hide the teacher's medication
I will not hide the teacher's medication

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF08
	"Worst Episode Ever"
%
I will not publish the principal's credit report
I will not publish the principal's credit report
I will not publish the principal's credit report
I will not publish the principal's credit report

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF07
	"Tennis the Menace"
%
The hamster did not have a "full life"
The hamster did not have a "full life"
The hamster did not have a "full life"
The hamster did not have a "full life"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF10
	"Day of the Jackanapes"
%
I will not buy a presidential pardon
I will not buy a presidential pardon
I will not buy a presidential pardon
I will not buy a presidential pardon

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF12
	"New Kids on the Blecch"
%
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF09
	"Hungry, Hungry Homer"
%
I will not scare the vice president
I will not scare the vice president
I will not scare the vice president
I will not scare the vice president

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF11
(A reference to VP Cheney's heart condition)
	"Bye Bye Nerdie"
%
I will not flush evidence
I will not flush evidence
I will not flush evidence
I will not flush evidence

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF13
	"Simpson Safari"
%
Fire is not the cleanser
Fire is not the cleanser
Fire is not the cleanser
Fire is not the cleanser

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF14
	"Trilogy of Error"
%
Genetics is not an excuse
Genetics is not an excuse
Genetics is not an excuse
Genetics is not an excuse

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF15
	"I'm Goin' to Praiseland"
%
Today is not Mothra's Day
Today is not Mothra's Day
Today is not Mothra's Day
Today is not Mothra's Day

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF16
(This episode aired on Mother's Day.)
	"Children of a Lesser Clod"
%
I should not be twenty-one by now
I should not be twenty-one by now 
I should not be twenty-one by now
I should not be twenty-one by now 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF17
(Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.)
	"Simpsons Tall Tales"
%
Nobody reads these anymore
Nobody reads these anymore
Nobody reads these anymore
Nobody reads these anymore

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF22
	"The Parent Rap"
%
A burp in a jar is not a science project
A burp in a jar is not a science project
A burp in a jar is not a science project
A burp in a jar is not a science project

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF20
	"Homer the Moe"
%
Fun does not have a size
Fun does not have a size
Fun does not have a size
Fun does not have a size

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF18
	"A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
%
I am not Charlie Brown on acid
I am not Charlie Brown on acid
I am not Charlie Brown on acid
I am not Charlie Brown on acid

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  CABF21
	"The Blunder Years"
%
I do not have a cereal named after me
I do not have a cereal named after me
I do not have a cereal named after me
I do not have a cereal named after me

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF02
(In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os)
	"She of Little Faith"
%
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF04
	"Half-Decent Proposal"
%
The Giving Tree is not a chump
The Giving Tree is not a chump
The Giving Tree is not a chump
The Giving Tree is not a chump

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF06
	"The Bart Wants What It Wants"
%
Making Milhouse cry is not a science project
Making Milhouse cry is not a science project
Making Milhouse cry is not a science project
Making Milhouse cry is not a science project

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF07
	"The Lastest Gun in the West"
%
Vampire is not a career choice
Vampire is not a career choice
Vampire is not a career choice
Vampire is not a career choice

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF08
	"Tales from the Public Domain"
%
I will never lie about being cancelled again
I will never lie about being cancelled again
I will never lie about being cancelled again
I will never lie about being cancelled again

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF14
	"The Sweetest Apu"
%
Fish do not like coffee
Fish do not like coffee
Fish do not like coffee
Fish do not like coffee

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode DABF20
	"Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade"
%
Milhouse did not test cootie positive
Milhouse did not test cootie positive
Milhouse did not test cootie positive
Milhouse did not test cootie positive

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  DABF21
	"Helter Shelter"
%
This school does not need a "regime change" 
This school does not need a "regime change" 
This school does not need a "regime change" 
This school does not need a "regime change" 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode EABF01
(Reference to the then-upcoming War In Iraq)
	"Strong Arms of the Ma"
%
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  EABF06
	"Pray Anything"
%
I will not 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  EABF05
(Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe.)
	"Barting Over"
%
My pen is not a booger launcher
My pen is not a booger launcher
My pen is not a booger launcher
My pen is not a booger launcher

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  EABF14
	"Old Yeller Belly"
%
Sandwiches should not contain sand
Sandwiches should not contain sand
Sandwiches should not contain sand
Sandwiches should not contain sand

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  EABF16
	"Bart of War"
%
Over forty &amp; single is not funny
Over forty &amp; single is not funny
Over forty &amp; single is not funny
Over forty &amp; single is not funny

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  FABF01
	"Today I Am a Clown"
%
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  FABF08
	"The Ziff Who Came to Dinner"
%
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
Poking a dead raccoon is not research

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  FABF22
	"She Used to Be My Girl"
%
Beer in a milk carton is not milk
Beer in a milk carton is not milk
Beer in a milk carton is not milk
Beer in a milk carton is not milk

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  GABF05
	"On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"
%
A booger is not a bookmark
A booger is not a bookmark
A booger is not a bookmark
A booger is not a bookmark

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  GABF15
	"Home Away from Homer"
%
Does any kid still do this anymore?
Does any kid still do this anymore?
Does any kid still do this anymore?
Does any kid still do this anymore?

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  GABF18
(Refers to the diminishing frequency of the chalkboard gag, as well as the real-life punishment)
	"Bonfire of the Manatees"
%
I am not smarter than the President
I am not smarter than the President
I am not smarter than the President
I am not smarter than the President

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF03
	"Homer's Paternity Coot"
%
Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual
Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual
Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual
Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF04
	"We're on the Road to D'ohwhere"
%
I will not laminate dog doo
I will not laminate dog doo
I will not laminate dog doo
I will not laminate dog doo

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF08
	"Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife"
%
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money
I will not eat things for money

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF08
	"Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife"
%
I will not flip the classroom upside down 
I will not flip the classroom upside down 
I will not flip the classroom upside down 
I will not flip the classroom upside down 

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF09
(The classroom is flipped upside down.)
	"Million Dollar Abie"
%
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not leak the plot of the movie

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF13
	"Regarding Margie"
%
Je ne parle pas français
Je ne parle pas français
Je ne parle pas français
Je ne parle pas français

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF14
	"The Monkey Suit"
%
Have a great summer, everyone
Have a great summer, everyone
Have a great summer, everyone
Have a great summer, everyone

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  HABF16
	"Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play"
%
We are not all naked under our clothes
We are not all naked under our clothes
We are not all naked under our clothes
We are not all naked under our clothes

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode HABF21
	"G.I. D'oh"
%
Frankincense is not a monster
Frankincense is not a monster
Frankincense is not a monster
Frankincense is not a monster

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF01
	"Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2"
%
Global Warming did not eat my homework
Global Warming did not eat my homework
Global Warming did not eat my homework
Global Warming did not eat my homework

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF06
	"Homerazzi"
%
I will not look up how much teacher makes
I will not look up how much teacher makes
I will not look up how much teacher makes
I will not look up how much teacher makes

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF13
	"Crook and Ladder"
%
Pearls are not oyster barf
Pearls are not oyster barf
Pearls are not oyster barf
Pearls are not oyster barf

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode JABF12
	"Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"
%
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF20
	"He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"
%
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF18
	"The Homer of Seville"
%
I am not a FDIC-insured bank.
I am not a FDIC-insured bank.
I am not a FDIC-insured bank.
I am not a FDIC-insured bank.

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF19
	"I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"
%
There is no such thing as an iPoddy
There is no such thing as an iPoddy
There is no such thing as an iPoddy
There is no such thing as an iPoddy

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF22
	"Little Orphan Millie"
%
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  JABF17
	"Husbands and Knives"
%
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  KABF02
	"Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind"
%
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode  KABF03
	"E Pluribus Wiggum"
%
I will not illegally download this movie
I will not illegally download this movie
I will not illegally download this movie
I will not illegally download this movie

Bart Simpson on chalkboard in "The Simpsons Movie"
%
